is that you have to keep them. And then you end up living a bit of lie in order to do that.
For instance. I am keeping the secret that I have accepted a new position at a different church that doesn’t start until September 1.
So, until I tell the secret - give notice - I have to live the lie that I am staying at this church.
Big deal, you might say. People keep secrets and tell lies all the time. True. However, the point of this post is how it hurts me to keep this secret.
Because I’m keeping this secret I have to go to this stupid task force meeting tonight and pretend that 1)I am engaged in helping them find a solution; 2) care about what solution they pick; 3) will be here to help implement the solution.
Now in some small ways it will be easier tonight. Since I don’t have to be around to implement whatever solution they come up with, I don’t need to worry about the integrity, quality or health of the solution. Nor do I need to care about how painful it would be to play whatever they come up with.
Ah, did you hear that? It was the little voice saying “Well, how does this behavior help you live authentically and hold your integrity? Hmmm?”
All I need to do is offer some suggestions. Write down what they pick. Smile. Go home.
What is it about this, besides wasting 2 hours of my life that I’ll never get back, that makes me feel as if it is a lie? So why am I making sure I have an ativan with me for tonight?
I think I must be making a mountain out of a mole hill.
The other little voice speaks:
“Look. You work there now. You need to help them as best you can. If they are mad/disappointed/angry/feel betrayed later, that’s their reaction and their stuff and they have to own it. Get over yourself, do your best in the moment and let go.“
Posted in work
