That’s a paraphrase of Jesus’. Honest! I’ll look it up if you don’t believe me!

Matthew 15:17. See! Ok. Moving right along.

I’m a damn good cook. Wine influenced blogging aside, this is a certifiable claim. Plus Martha’s recipes never fail me. And by “Martha”, you know who I mean. I don’t care what you think of her personally, or if you get a massive case of the overwhelmies when you watch her show or read her magazine. People, that is our problem, not hers. Pick ONE thing and try it. I dare you. Even more specific, I dare you to try ONE recipe. Even a free one off the website. They work and they are MARVELOUS.

I know she has “staff” that makes everything she does possible. Who in the world actually thought one woman could do all that, with or without kids, anyway? Geesh! So don’t pick one that has 47 ingrediants and says it takes 3 days to make…like the homemade lox. At least that recipe doesn’t start with “catch a salmon.”

I’ve been getting her magazine “Everyday Food” for a while and this month’s “comfort food” edition has a lot to recommend it. Today, I tried the butternut squash puree sauce for cheese ravioli. Use the suggested toppings, damn it! The walnuts, fresh sage and parmeasan were FANTASTIC. Paired it with a nice little Austrailian Chardonnay…specifically Lindemans Bin 70 Chardonnay Riesling 2005. mmmmmmm. I believe that, in a pinch, this could be quite a specatular “date-nite” dinner. Now….if I only had a date…

The sauce freezes and since it was only YM and I for dinner and neither of us was starving I have at least one full meal’s worth in the freezer and a “dinner for one” size portion as well.

ANYWAY….

There’s a beef stew already in the crockpot crock in the refridgerator waiting for tomorrow morning. I think I’ll stop and get a nice bordeaux…

Oh yes. One more item of note for today for the other half of the referenced quote:

Since the upstairs toilet gave up the ghost last Thursday (let us have a moment of silence please) and since the plumber is all scheduled to arrive Tuesday morning at 9:00 AM (let us take a moment to give thanks for TWO toilets in the house) I had to go toilet shopping today.

(cue laugh track)

Now, I would wager to say that many people have never actually been toilet shopping. This is in fact, my SECOND toilet shopping adventure in just over 3 years.

I’m lucky that way. I know.

Today was especially lucky. At the first Home Depot I went to (yes, I said the first) I liked two different models. One that has a “no clog” claim (which, with 2 teenage boys in the house is somehow veeeerrry attractive) and another that was the exact same model as the one I bought 3 years ago for the downstairs 3/4 bath.

Wouldn’t you know, the blessed Home Depot had NEITHER one in-stock? Well, they had the tank for one and the bowl for the other.

The sweet, pathetic smock-wearing sales woman tried to find one in stock somewhere for me, but the other store hung up on her. So I should try to call them? Nuh uh. On to Menards we go.

Of course, Menard’s doesn’t sell the same brands, but that’s Ok. It’s not like the two toilets match now anyway. They do have one (sigh) that I kind of like, and hey it’s on sale. But, yes, you guessed it…out of stock at that store. This time a goofy glove wearing sales guy doesn’t even try calling the other Menard’s stores. He just writes down the SKU and gives me the phone numbers with the advice, “I’d call before I drove over there.”

Really? Wow! Thanks!

Ok. I wasn’t really that sarcastic…to his face.

I called. They had one. They even said they’d hold it for me. 15 miles later I had said toilet, tank and seat in my trunk.

I’d only been at this for FOUR hours…and still had to go to the grocery store…where I got the ingredients for this really great butternut squash sauce for ravioli…